TED - How to Speak So That People Want to Listen | Julian Treasure

The seven deadly sins of Speaking

1. Gossip: Speaking negatively about someone who is not present. People will not trust you because a while later, you will gossip about them. 2. Judging: It is hard to listen to someone who consistently judge you during a conversation. 3. Negativity: Having a negative viewpoint on things. 4. Complaining: which is mere viral misery. Could be on anything, politics, sports, or the weather. 5. Excuses: Not taking responsibility for our actions and being a blame-thrower 6. Exaggeration: Drawing an imaginary image and inflating stuff excessively. It can get to the point of outright **lying**. 7. Dogmatism: stating your opinions as if they are facts without consideration of an evidence to support your claims. In other words, Bombarding people with biased opinions on a certain topic.

- Foundation of powerful speech (HAIL)

1. Honesty: Being clear and straight. Not using deception and lies. But using brutal and unnecessary honesty could hurt people. "Honesty tempered with Love". 2. Authenticity: Being yourself and not imitating a non-genuine persona. "Standing in your own truth". 3. Integrity: Be your word. Do what you say. Be trustworthy, and take responsibility. 4. Love: Wishing people well. No judgement.

- Toolbox of Speech (Voice)

1. Register: Talk from your chest, not the nose or throat. "We vote for the politicians with lower voices". People associate depth with power and authority. 2. Timbre: The way the voice feels. "Rich, Smooth, Warm, like hot chocolate." It is a skill that can be trained. 3. Prosody: Talking with enthusiasm, having a rhythmic voice, and not being monotonic like a robot. Avoid repetitive prosody as if every statement was a question. 4. Pace: Talk normally and slow right down to... *Emphasize*. Talking fast or slow at the right time is key in conveying your point. 5. Silence: A powerful tool to bring attention. Should not be filled with filler words such as UH's and UM's. 6. Pitch: To deliver an idea or ask a question and being understood. (The caps-lock of speech) 7. Volume: The quieter the better in bringing attention. But don't be too quiet all the time and don't be a broadcaster too. Pay attention to your loudness.

- Warm up the toolbox of voice

1. Arms up, take a deep breath and sigh. 2. Lips: (BA BA BA) 3. Lips: Horse sound 4. Tongue: Exaggerated (LA LA LA) 5. Tongue: Roll an R (RRRRR) 6. The siren (WEEEE [High] yoooo [Low]) Speaking is one part of the puzzle because having a good conversation also depends on being a good listener.